Using your score from the "Are You Mentally Fit to Live?" test, you'll continue to build your individual program with the tips below. As in Chapter 2, you'll begin according to your current level, master those skills, and then move on. Don't forget about the template in Appendix 2 that will help you organize your individual plan.
TO SURVIVE:
If you received a score of 0 to 6 on the test, focus your energy here first. Once you've mastered these, feel free to move up to the tips in "To Enjoy."
1. Breathe Through Stress
When you see that concrete ball of stress swingin' your way, take a slow, deep breath. Just one breath. Feels pretty good, doesn't it? When you breathe that way, you actually alter the levels and ratios of brain chemicals that calm you. Inhale for a count of three and exhale for a count of four. Enjoy that exhalation. In with the good, out with the bad.
2. Get Straight about Stress
Let's get this straight. There are two basic kinds of stress: (1) life threatening and (2) annoying but livable. Are you someone who keeps kicking in your big-time stress response (appropriate for life-threatening stresses like medical emergencies) for what should be annoying but livable stress (someone outbid you on the house you had your heart set on)? True emergencies require a serious withdrawal from the Body Dollar bank to save your life. Annoying but livable stresses should require a much smaller withdrawal. Be careful not to bankrupt your Body Dollar bank with what should be minor expenses.
3. Convert Expectations to Hope
Go back to what you consider to be some of the roughest times in your life, and look at what the stress was. Most if not all of the time, it's attached to some expectation. He never asked you to marry him. Your kid doesn't reciprocate with the same level of love you have for him/her. You never expected to have a heart attack at the age of 45.
Clinging to expectations takes you to the "this isn't fair" place. News flash: In life, fairness is a moot point. It is what it is. Replace expectations with hope. Hope leaves open the option that anything is possible.
Try it right now. Write down the stresses in your life that you have a tendency to turn into distress, or Toxic Stress. These are the challenges that really bug you deep inside. Start with the neighbor who plowed through your prize bushes with his lawn mower. Instead of getting steamed, or blaming, or stewing, just say, "I hope, after his apology, he doesn't do it again." Or, instead of remaining bitter with your remote child, say, "I hope my kid appreciates all I have done one day," and move on. Start hoping rather than expecting.
4. Use It, Then Sleep on It
Never underestimate the power of sleep to trim your belly. Be sure to get enough--on average, 7 hours a night (kids and teens need more!). Naps are okay, but nighttime sleep is best. Try to go to sleep and get up at the same time. Just as your other daily routines need to be ritualized, so does rest. Stay away from caffeine past noon. Create a relaxing routine--warm bath, soft music, reading for pleasure. Keep the bedroom cool, dark, and quiet. And get off that TV, computer, and Crackberry an hour before sleep!
If you have chronic trouble sleeping, you may be taking your stresses to bed with you. That's a crowd you don't need. Rather than run for a pill, do at least 30 minutes of brisk cardio exercise earlier in the day. Listen to a meditation tape or CD. Avoid the national news before you hit the sack. Stash a notebook and paper in your nightstand, and write down your worries rather than allow them to keep you awake. All these measures can help improve the quality of your sleep.
5. Be Sure to Get Your Mini-Chills
They say that stress is a disease of time deficiency. But enjoyment of anything in life involves savoring the moment. Whether you're tasting a crème brulée or watching a flock of birds take flight, rushing through destroys the enjoyment. Every day, schedule in no less than 10 minutes to go to a quiet place--the closet or bathroom are perfectly acceptable, having used them many times myself!--and choose to either sit and close your eyes, or savor an experience--drink that cup of green tea, listen to calming music, read something that is enjoyable to you. You'll be amazed how such a small moment of bliss can neutralize so much stress.
TO ENJOY:
If you scored a 7 to 13 on the test, just take a quick look at the "To Survive" suggestions. If you feel you have them covered, you can start here.
1. Burn It Off
How about a win/win/win? Get up and dance. Crank up the CD player, radio, or MP3 player and let it rip. Whether it's 50 Cent or Tony Bennett, you'll burn off Toxic Belly Fat and distress and have fun. Walk it off, run it off, swim it off. Exercise releases pent-up energy and burns off the stress hormones that otherwise can lead to weight gain, sleep troubles, and/or fights with loved ones. Did you know that overweight, postmenopausal women who exercise in the morning experience less difficulty falling asleep and better-quality sleep than evening exercisers? Sign me up! Your feel-good hormones--beta endorphins and serotonin--are now officially in overdrive.
2. Lean On 'Em
To increase your enjoyment and relieve stress, how about putting in the work to cultivate better relationships? Whip out that list of friends and family members you haven't called in a while. Grab the phone, hit the e-mail, but make it happen. People who maintain at least two or three meaningful relationships (friends, family) heal twice as fast from medical conditions (heart attacks, cancer) than people who have none. Maintaining those friendships increases your odds for living long and well at least threefold.
3. Laugh a Lot
It's humanly impossible to laugh joyfully and feel Toxic Stress at the same time. Did you know that kids laugh 300 times a day and the typical adult laughs less than 10 times a day? Find sources of great humor and chuckle away. I love old clips from Saturday Night Live. I read Mark Twain's witty wisdom and can't get enough of Robin Williams and Lily Tomlin. Check out www.humortop.com for some great sources of humor.
TO CHALLENGE:
If you scored a 14 to 20 on the test, just take a quick look at the "To Survive" and "To Enjoy" tips. If you feel you have them covered, you can start here.
1. Best the Beast
Everyone has one or two absolutely ass-kicking stresses in their lives that constantly haunt them. Now it's time to face the challenge. When I first met my patient Johari, she was a beautiful but distressed African American woman, 42 years old and 50 pounds heavier than she should be. Her inability to shed pounds was mystifying to her. She loved to exercise, but she lost out to Almond Fudge every night. When I asked her about the Dark Place, she tearfully revealed that she was only a dissertation away from her PhD in economics. She'd let stresses interrupt achieving her goal. And every night, when she was tired and vulnerable, the PhD beast showed up, stirring up her stress hormones and driving her to the ice cream solution. I told her to face off with the beast. She finally did, and after 2 years, I can now refer to her as Dr. Rashad. By Cutting her Mental Fat, she also cut the 50 pounds of Toxic Belly Fat. Identify your own beasts and cut your own fat!
2. Be a Guiding Light
How could you be a guiding light for people who are overwhelmed with Toxic Stress? One of my patients helped calm a woman who was terrified of flying. Smiling and laughing, she got the woman's mind off the turbulence. Ask yourself right now, who could I help, and how might I start? Think of the nurses and psychologists who travel to communities around the world to offer their services when natural disasters occur. Perhaps in your own neighborhood, there's an elderly or disabled person who could really use your friendship and skills. This challenge is a special one. It's part of the web of life. You give and you get.
Reprinted from Fit to Live by Pam Peeke. Copyright 2007 by Pamela Peeke, MD.
Permission granted by Rodale, Inc. Emmaus, PA 18098
Available at the Discovery Store, directly from the publisher by calling (800) 848-4735, or wherever books are sold.
