Q: Why at 42 years of age do I find it so difficult to control my habits (gambling, smoking and drinking)? Not long ago I was not smoking, drinking less and not gambling at all on horses, but now when I go to the OTB I have no control. Help!!!
A: Ahh ... what a question. There are schools of thought that are completely scientific—from psychological to physiological. And there are others that are not—let's say they're spiritual (a chakra is amiss, therefore you must gamble to fill a spiritual void). Still there are those who don't subscribe to any of these—rather, they have their own personal explanation and do quite well managing with their own personal skills. In fact, I know many people who have successfully beat their demons by simply deciding to, without the help of professionals. I'm not saying it's easy or wise for everyone. I'm just saying that there are many means to the same end. And being of an open mind as you try to fix yourself is a good thing to be.
So why are you having such a hard time controlling yourself? I say that it's a combination of mind, body and spirit, or a clearer way to say it is that you rely on getting high on life via an altered state. It may also be an irrational pressure caused by the media ... 60-year-olds are telling you that they feel like 30, yet at 42, you're hungover, broke and have a hacking cough. All your habits are about making you feel artificially better about things. So deep down, you musn't.
The first step for you is to see a professional—this is always a good first step. Try it on for size and if it works, great. But continue to search for a way that works for you, being careful not to discount your intuition. Life isn't perfect, neither are you and I. But we can always strive to be better, so don't give up. Never give up.
Q: I am a 54-year-old married working woman. I am healthy except for high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and a high bmi. I KNOW I SHOULD exercise, eat right, rest, etc. I have lots of knowledge, am great at planning what I need to do. I can even get started, for a day or so. I just can't make myself follow through. Every time the "good Cindi" tries to make any change, the "bad Cindi" digs her heels in and refuses. Help, please.
A: Sweetheart, your letter made me laugh my butt off. You say you are healthy except for high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and a high bmi. You are a walking timebomb. You aren't healthy. So you should immediately stop kidding yourself. You, my dear, are in a very bad state.
So Step 1: Stop lying to yourself. Step 2: Get healthy by changing your diet and beginning an exercise routine. You're 54, so get on a good path ASAP and stop using work as an excuse to dig yourself an early grave. We all gotta work.
