Nonetheless, many people feel ambivalent about using sex aids. They may feel that using mechanical devices during intimate moments is unnatural, depersonalizing or replacing their partner.

While these concerns may have merit, it is generally not simply the use of sex aids that contributes to ill feelings, but how they are used and what their use means to an individual or to a couple.

If the use of sexual aids objectifies or depersonalizes sexual experiences, there may be a problem in the relationship that requires attention. If people are using sexual devices as a crutch because they feel inadequate or inferior, then their negative feelings may need to be explored. Under circumstances like these, the use of sexual devices can be unhealthy substitutes for interpersonal relationships.

Some couples find that a healthy relationship can comfortably accommodate the addition of sex toys. Others may find that after some experimentation they prefer to do without them. Still others may feel that their sexual value is threatened by the use of sex aids. An insecure individual may wonder if his or her partner is using a sex aid because of dissatisfaction with him or her.

A Matter of Preference
These issues and any others that may be raised as a result of introducing sexual aids may be seen as an opportunity for individuals and couples to explore their feelings and discover the problems in their relationships. It is important to consider, however, that using sex aids is normal and not using sex aids is normal. It is simply a matter of individual preference.

Although the majority of sex aids and toys are sold to people who use them just to enhance their pleasure, some can be used in the treatment of sexual problems.

Videos, audiotapes and written material can be helpful in assisting an individual or a couple to overcome anxiety or lack of information. Also, sexual devices can be particularly helpful for some disabled people whose disability inhibits their sexual expression.

In order to improve communication and intimacy, marital and sex therapists suggest that couples who have concerns or fears about the use of sex aids or toys should be encouraged to talk openly with their partner about their feelings.

Copyright 2002 Sinclair Intimacy Institute