Foreplay — Mental Stimulation
It is sometimes said that the human body's most erogenous zone is the mind. Foreplay, as a result, is not merely an issue of physical stimulation but also one of emotional and mental stimulation. Some people, for example, are stimulated by the physical location and setting in which foreplay occurs.

For some, public displays of affection are highly erotic. Most people are also responsive to verbal stimulation and can become aroused by compliments and strong expressions of affection and caring. Some have personal fantasies about particular locations or activities that they find highly stimulating (e.g., a warm fireplace on a cold night). Consequently, arranging locations or the role-playing of particular desired interactions (sometimes in costume) may be incorporated into foreplay.

Foreplay Requires Open Communication
Some fantasies may involve activities or circumstances, such as acts of dominance or submission, that are only pleasurable as fantasy and would be otherwise unacceptable. Generally, these activities require open communication, a fair degree of disinhibition, and a willingness to appease one's partner. For some people, even light to moderate pain may be stimulating. Biting or light scratching are common acts of foreplay, but some people prefer spanking or other forms of light physical punishment.

Bondage is also considered quite arousing by some people. Acceptance or rejection of these behaviors varies, and unless a behavior is mutually enjoyable it will not contribute to providing the pleasure and sense of deep relaxation that is the central function of foreplay in human sexual interaction.

Various rubber and electrical devices (such as vibrators), sometimes called "sex toys," have become popular in recent years. These are readily available in many areas at stores that specialize in adult merchandise. Generally, these stores also sell sexually explicit magazines and videotapes, which some couples incorporate into their foreplay activities.

The basic ingredients of foreplay are physical and mental/emotional stimulation, trust, and the expression of caring. Acts of foreplay that some individuals or couples find highly erotic may be completely unacceptable to others. Consequently, open discussion, sensitivity, and acceptance are vital to a healthy approach to foreplay.

Copyright 2002 Sinclair Intimacy Institute