What is VENIS? For starters, it's a sexual technique that encourages partners to think about sex in an unconventional way. According to sex therapist Laura Berman, Ph.D., it's a whole new ball game, in which foreplay is the "home run" and penetration isn't permitted.

Berman developed the VENIS sexual-enhancement program to teach adolescents about safer sex, and has since encouraged all couples to explore the carnal wonders without the pressure of intercourse as an end goal.

"We tend to be very goal-directed when it comes to sex," Berman explains, "with the ultimate goal of any encounter always being intercourse. Turn that concept upside-down, and your sexual world opens up."

Pick Your Pleasure
Sexual pleasure without intercourse is the simple point of VENIS — it's an exciting alternative for anyone who's looking to spice up a lackluster love life, says Laura. What's more, it can take the pressure off a partner whose sexual problem — such as erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation; vaginal dryness or pain; or a low libido — makes intercourse a frustrating exercise. For elderly couples, it's a way to experience eroticism without the exertion.

You say you want a workout? Don't despair — VENIS activities, undertaken with a youthful vitality, can raise your heart rate.

Getting Started With VENIS
Consider these suggestions:

• Oil each other up — all over — and let the wrestling match begin
• Perform a striptease to turn on your mate
• Discuss your intimate fantasies with each other

• Share a bath, with bubbles or without
• Put in a porno video or DVD
• Explore your kisses' capacity to stimulate
• Massage your partner — in lieu of lotion, whipped cream or ice cream could make sweet additions to the sensuous mix
• Tie your mate to the bed with a scarf, or slap on the handcuffs to hold his or her attention
• Rub your clothed or naked bodies together. (Tempted to take it further? A gentle Berman reminder: "Orgasm's OK. Intercourse isn't.")
• Make mechanized sex toys, such as vibrators or dildos, part of your play
• Watch each other masturbate, or masturbate your mate
• Try "intercourse" VENIS-style, such as between her thighs or breasts

What's the common denominator here? There's no exchange of bodily fluids with any of these suggestions, which makes VENIS a safer-sex alternative to penetration.

Better Than Sex?
Noninsertive sex might bring you or your partner to orgasm. And, that's A-OK; however, don't make the big "O" a goal. With VENIS, if you're having fun and enjoying sexual arousal, then you're doing it right.

Mix up your activities. Indulge your curiosity. When you shift your sexual focus, turning foreplay into the mainstay, you'll discover "a fulfilling kind of sex that allows for creativity and communication," Laura assures. And, for women, another advantage of VENIS: clitoral stimulation, which women "always enjoy," according to the sex therapist, can be easier to achieve with this method than with traditional sexual intercourse.