To look more approachable — and to encourage those hotties to come over and say "hi" instead of heading for the hills — you can make a few simple improvements to your body language, recommends psychologist and communications expert Lillian Glass, Ph.D.

The Sexual Signals You're Sending
Glass offers these body-language tips to beckon, rather than rebuff, would-be suitors:

• Keep your body open. That means keeping your arms down by your sides, not crossed over your body as a buffer. Before he took some pointers from Glass, Tim Cowgill, 46, was shutting people out by his body's signals. "I would close my arms across my front," he says, "and back myself up against a wall." And 41-year-old Deborah Garrett says she wasn't getting close to people, either — figuratively or literally. "I kept my distance, clutching a glass to keep something between me and others."
• Reflect self-confidence. A poised presentation invites others to treat you with respect. Stand up straight, but not to the point of looking stiff. When sitting, keep a straight back to avoid a sloppy slouch. And when walking, move self-confidently at a steady pace — not too fast or too slow — with your arms swinging freely at your sides.
• Consider "respectful" touching. An appropriate, gracious touch — on the arm, for example — is unlikely to offend, but can serve as a friendly, bonding gesture.
• Relax your face. Your face is responsible for about 75 percent of nonverbal communication, according to Glass. A furrowed forehead, for example, might be construed as critical. For a positive look that doesn't intimidate, release the tension in your forehead, while also relaxing the muscles around your eyes, mouth and nose. And smile — a genuine smile — with some teeth showing.
• Make consistent eye contact. To make a connection, look at a person's face while you're engaged in conversation, instead of glancing around as if looking for alternative entertainment. In other words, show that you're interested.
• Don't be shy. "Shy people are selfish people," according to Glass. "It's not all about you. Focus more on being interested — not interesting — and your mind-set will move away from how awkward you might be feeling."

"Before and After" Body Language
Prior to working with Glass, Cowgill and Garrett were frustrated by their failure to meet the right people for romantic relationships. Each credits Glass' tricks of attraction for the new, steady relationships that they now enjoy. The fundamental secret to success in both cases: a boost in confidence that resulted in a new, self-assured presentation.

Cowgill — "a manly, good-looking former cop," by the psychologist's description — used to "come across as a wimpy nerd." He now can initiate conversation where his shyness might have stopped him before. "I don't want to be selfish. I'm a nice guy who likes talking to new people, but it wasn't happening because of the withdrawn look I was giving off," he says.

As for Garrett, a physical makeover made it easier for her to approach and attract great guys. With her new, 21st-century look, she says, "It's like the mousy secretary suddenly turned into the glamorous star. Knowing I would turn some heads brought out the confidence in me." Her advice to others: "Fake it 'til you make it." She elaborates, "Dress up and wear something you might not normally wear — something that makes you feel and look sexy. Looking and feeling different might make you OK with exploring the more confident side of yourself."

Reading Sexual Signals Correctly
So you're no longer closing yourself off from the possibility of meeting a special mate, but how can you tell if the object of your admiration likes you back? Look at their body signals. If their toes are pointing toward you, they like you, Glass says. Toes pointing away means that they're not that interested. If their eyes are glued to you as you talk, that's a good sign. However, if they are looking around, needless to say, that is not a good sign.

For more on understanding body language and improving the signals you're sending, read these books by Dr. Lillian Glass:

• Attracting Terrific People (St. Martin's Press, 1997)
• He Says, She Says (G.P. Putnam's Sons, 1992)
• I Know What You're Thinking (John Wiley & Sons, 2002)