Discovery Health :: Parenting: Discipline and Limit Setting

Kids and Discipline

	Parenting: Discipline and Limit Setting (con't) By Merri Wallace Talk about feelings. If your child throws her teddy bear at you, address her anger. You might say, "When I said no to a cookie, you threw Teddy at me. You need to use your words. Say, 'I'm angry.'" Once children express their emotions, they have less of a need to act out. Acknowledge wishes. If your child is having a tantrum at the checkout counter in the supermarket, you can say, "You wish you could have those stickers, but we already bought a toy today. Let's put the stickers on your wish list for next time." When you acknowledge your child's desire, you give him recognition and he has less of a need to protest. Externalizing a rule. You will decrease a battle of wills if you objectify the reason for a rule. For instance, "There's no jumping on the sofa. We need to make sure you don't fall off and hurt yourself." Relate to your child's behavior, not her personality. For example, tell her "Hitting is not acceptable." This communicates that the child is OK, but the action must change. *What Doesn't Work:* Threats and bribes. If you constantly use threats and bribes to gain cooperation, you train your child to ignore you when you do not threaten or bribe him. It is better if a child cooperates with you because he wants your approval and wishes to do the right thing. Barking orders all day long. Under these circumstances children resent you and fight you to assert their independence.

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