"You cannot have a cookie before dinner." "You need to stop at the corner before crossing the street." "Pulling the cat's whiskers is not acceptable."

A million times a day parents set limits with their children. While prior generations associated discipline with punishment, today we equate discipline with setting limits or educating kids about how to get along in the world.

When parents set limits, they are not only showing their children what to do and say, they are helping them to cope with their impulses and anxieties. Limits are internalized and actually make children feel safe. Therefore, it is important to start this process early.

As children grow they will naturally misbehave. They are adventurous, have strong impulses and need to feel independent. The challenge for parents is to work with these developmental issues in a positive and instructive way.

Here are some effective guidelines for setting limits with children of different ages.

Newborn to 2 Years Old
Infants and toddlers are busy exploring the world. Everything excites them. Your curious 11-month-old will crawl over to the light socket repeatedly to see what it is all about, or jettison food over the side of his tray table to study gravity. At this stage your child is ecstatic about his new physical skills, such as walking and climbing.

At 15 months old, your child is constantly in motion and it will be hard for him to stop. Children in this age group are also egocentric. They experience their wishes and needs as urgent. When you are standing at the checkout counter, your two-year-old's wish for a new toy will feel like life and death to him, so it will be hard for him to let go. Infants and toddlers are impulsive. They lack the ability to express their needs and desires verbally, so they act them out.